Unclenched Moment

Gentle me,

Holy One,

into an unclenched moment,

a deep breath,

a letting go

of heavy expectancies,

of shriveling anxieties,

of dead certainties,

that, softened by the silence,

surrounded by the light,

and open to the mystery,

I may be found by wholeness,

upheld by the unfathomable,

entranced by the simple,

and filled with the joy

that is you.

( from Guerillas of Grace by Ted Loder, Luramedia 1984)

As I've mentioned before, we're going through much change in the GP household just now. Reading Diggingalot's reflections this morning on  Let Something Essential Happen to Me   took me  back to another beautiful piece by Ted Loder  that I stumbled across months ago and that's since formed a  background to my prayers. It's so easy for this quiet joy to be drowned out by the noise and distractions, so thanks for reminding me about it once again.

And did you know - according to some of my bible reading notes - that the ancient Assyrian word for prayer was the same as they had for opening a clenched fist?

As long as we're living

The Unfolding Pamphlet on Change - Ribbonwood Designs

"...change will be happening."

I can certainly vouch for that! Like the proverbial buses that are conspicuous by their absence, before several appear all at once, the CH word is looming large in my life at the moment.  Someone, somewhere seems to be muddling up the seasons; I was under the impression that Spring was the time for new beginnings and here we are edging our way into the season "of mists and mellow fruitfulness." 

Well, maybe the bus analogy isn't entirely accurate, given that I have had some warning of most of the changes afoot in the GP support network.  The first came totally out of the blue,  however, and when it struck several months  ago, by some wonderful serendipity this little leaflet The Unfolding Pamphlet on Change by Trish Harris came to my notice. It was the vivid, colourful artwork that first  attracted me, that and its  simplicity -  as it unfolds the process and impact of change on our lives and offers us ways in which we might begin to engage and live with  it. I bought a bundle of leaflets on impulse and have been giving copies away ever since.  To date it's helped me avoid the wobbles; I've been remarkably calm about the whole process, even found it quite exciting: change can herald growth after all.

Though I suspect some of this calmness might be covering shock. After the latest goodbye the other night, to a good friend and one third of our giggle and gossip group prayer triplet, I had to fight off a distinctly unBritish quivering lip. The next Ch event, coming up way faster than we'd anticipated, is that of GP daughter moving abroad;  even more seismic potential there, except that the whole process is moving so fast that I think we'll not have the opportunity to have a wibbly fit  until after she's gone.

So...deep breath...keep calm and carry on.