Greenpatch New Year Tealights

As ever, I'm indebted to  Archdruid Eileen, both for the inspiration for this post and  for relieving me of the onerous task of digging around in the bowels of my blog in order to dredge up my "Highlights of 2012." Where the Beaker Folk go, I will follow - preferably at least ten miles behind ensconced in a cosy cafe with copious supplies of tea, cakes and back copies of the Church Times.

1. I too will not obsess over my blog stats this year. I've enough problems with my RL vital statistics. 2012 was the year when post-menopausal symptoms kicked in big time.

2. Tweeting is for the birds, whatever St Francis may have had to say on the matter. However, I shall continue to promote  shamelessly nick   wisdom where I find it; the pearls of a certain Archdruid deserve far greater exposure than they're currently receiving, I'm sure you'll agree.

3.  I'm a Franciscan.  I wouldn't dream of upsetting other people in order to up my blog stats; far better to stick to safe, uncontroversial topics like kittens, embroidery and bird baths. Though funnily enough, St Francis would not have agreed with me on this one. I suspect he upset rather a lot of folk in his time. As I've written elsewhere part of the Franciscan ethos is to be the awkward squad, the irritant in the oyster, the questioner of the status quo. I may need some practice on this one then...

4. Feedjit? Get thee behind me... Though I'll admit to missing the frisson of excitement and panic as you try to work out whether the reader from one's home town is a) My husband, b) the vicar c) a stalker or d) the lady in charge of the after church coffee rota.

5. Klout?  At risk of sounding like that judge in the 60's who didn't know who the Beatles were, what's that? Our son will relate proudly to anybody willing to listen that I still don't know who Cheryl Cole is. I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that I'll never blog with The Big Boys.

6. E-Buzzing?  It's for the bees. I shall nobly resist all temptation to join in the blogosphere's obsession with labelling and  ranking  everything that moves. I shall forgive their predecessor, Wikio (to whose database one of my old blogs was submitted without my knowledge or permission) for placing my most   valuable pieces of  spiritual and theological reflection in the "Entertainment" category. (I think it must have been the Dr Who references that confused them.) For some reason the current setup only ranks Growing Greenpatches on the French version of the site. There  must be some very puzzled French blog readers out there, methinks.  Especially as the "Religion and Belief" category doesn't appear to exist across The Channel.

7. We've kept quiet about the wax splashes on side chapel carpet at church after my last, unfortunate foray into the world of tealights. I like them; they don't like me.

8. ?

9. Re-tweeting? See 2 above. Nothing wrong with it IMHO. It's much the same as recycling my old Greenpatches, surely?

10. Same Sex Marriage? See 3 above.  Could Do Better.

Happy New Year, everybody!

'Ever so 'umble:' Aspirations to Humility

In other words, get your brain round another of my 'Recycled Greenpatches'.  I may have had a week during which my self-esteem has  been  sucked down the plughole together with fistfuls of post-menopausal hair but, thanks to Archdruid Eileen and her 10 Most Humble Christians on Social Media, I sense  a strange stirring; feel there is a ray of hope - a light at the end of the tunnel (or to be exact, down the bottom of the overflow system). There is a place for clumsy, inarticulate bumblers such as Yours Truly! I'm inspired...enthused...energised.... to put finger to keyboard and give all you wonderful people, the benefit of some of my own thoughts on the topic, inconsequential and insignificant though they be.... ("I am Not Worthy.") So, here you go - first blogged back in November 2007, the Greenpatch Guide to 'Inverse Self-Presentation:' Genie Wake Up', (complete with the best definition of humility that I've ever come across.)

and smell the humus!,'  bleats Robin Williams in the Disney epic, 'Aladdin.'  To which I'd add the warning, 'But don't trip over the doormat on the way out!.'  I can't recall  who or what had caught him out , though I've happy memories of our then four-year old son's virtuoso imitation of Mr William's performance (more little blue Smurf than giant genie!).   I just remember our gales of laughter as the  keeper of the lamp suddenly  swells up to thrice his size in righteous indignation,  as suddenly realises his mistake  and...oops!   As his  pomposity (and his ego) is punctured mid-stream, RW dwindles into an 'ever so 'umble' yet endearing puddle of gooey sheepishness. And don't we just  love him for it!

Well, yes... I remember referring to this 'Inverse Self-Presentation'in one of my earliest posts on this blog - quoting from Susan Pitchford's writings on 'Verbal anesthesia - or 'What's your mask?'  Humility, what is it? How do you know you possess it? And by definition, if you think you're displaying it, surely that then means that you can't possibly be as humble as you think you are. (I can hear Uriah Heep knocking at the door as I type!). Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! What a tangle we get ourselves into at times.

Any road on, if you feel inclined to follow the tangle further, do take yourself over here.  I've recently completed another of those  forms  where you reflect on how you're managing to follow the Franciscan way, hence  the topic is one which looms large in my thinking at the moment.  I'm sure we would love to make ourselves out to be possessed of such humble qualities that onlookers can spot the duraglit on our  invisible halos from several hundred yards.  Sadly, however, I fear that for  most of us:

Humility is what nips you in the ankle when you start dropping hints about the good things you've done that nobody's noticed yet.

(My thanks to 'Pimple' from Shipoffools for allowing me to use this quote!)

Testing, testing tangles

Hallelujah!

Note to self: No more twiddling and fiddling. Stick to what you know.

Talking about faith online/listening skills

My stats show that lately there've been a few visitors to GG from my favourite site Shipoffools. com .  I thought I'd highlight a couple of current discussions: First up Talking about Faith VR v. RL - do we find it easier to talk about our faith online than in 'real life? ' Then, picking up from my musings on digital technology, social media and communication, I began a thread on the place of professional listening skills in initial ministerial formation. Worth a look.

Technology and social media. Are you listening to me?

image credit: freedigitalphotos.net.renjithkhrishnan

A big thank you to Tractorgirl for drawing my attention to another thought-provoking and challenging TED talk.  Sociologist Sherry Turkle's Connected, but alone? reflects on whether our  increasing use of digital technology and social media, designed as a means of connection, is, paradoxically  hindering authentic and genuine communication with each other.  From Ms Turkle's own site:

Technology promises to let us do anything from anywhere with anyone. But it also drains us as we try to do everything everywhere. We begin to feel overwhelmed and depleted by the lives technology makes possible. We may be free to work from anywhere, but we are also prone to being lonely everywhere. In a surprising twist, relentless connection leads to a new solitude. We turn to new technology to fill the void,but as technology ramps up, our emotional lives ramp down.

Now I'm not one for knocking modern technology; I'm in agreement with many folk, Tractorgirl included, that social and digital media has been a wonderful means of enlarging my horizons beyond my own little corner, and yes, I've also made connections with people online that have later matured into   friendships 'in real life.' The plus side's been covered pretty well elsewhere and I'm not intending to add to that here.

No, what really caught my attention were the assertions of the effect our use of  the media is having on our ability to  just 'be,' by ourselves, alone; to give ourselves space; above all to give that 'safe'  space to others where they're truly heard and accepted. We are, Ms Turkle says, increasingly unable to listen, really listen to each other.

“If we're not able to be alone, we're going to be more lonely. And if we don't teach our children to be alone, they're only going to know how to be lonely.”

“We all really need to listen to each other, including to the boring bits.”

“The feeling that ‘no one is listening to me’ make us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.”

(Well, sorry, but if people think that when I'm old and grey I'll satisfy my social, emotional and spiritual needs by talking to a robot, they've another think coming! )

'No one is listening to me.'  That shocked me. Sadly, it didn't surprise me in the least.  I guess I've a vested interest; being involved in spiritual direction where listening skills are key.  As they are in so many of the helping professions.

So where does that leave us?  For myself, it's a timely reminder - if I needed one - of the need that is out there. And for anyone- I'd suggest, take a step,  doesn't need to be a huge project, just a small step will do, to once in a while switch off the laptop/phone/insert device of your choice.  Then call a friend (oops - alright, I'll let you have the phone back as long as you promise not to text or tweet). Speak to that elderly neighbour; the person next to you on the train, in the bus queue, the chap at the supermarket till, the elderly lady walking her dog in the park. And do it with no other agenda other than to offer the other person that precious gift of unhurried  time and space.

Social Media and Introversion

Hot on the heels (oops, nearly typed 'hells!' ) of my post on Procrastination and them pesky widgets, comes Ian's reflections on Slate's assertion that opting out of Facebook and other social networks could prove detrimental to one's reputation.

This is  a topic to which I've not given much thought, to be honest. My age and situation at  present relieves me of much of the pressure to see and be seen; nevertheless  I'm very much aware that whatever I post once out there, stays out there. It's a small world, even in cyberspace and I'd hope that if anybody who knows me does stumble upon my inane ramblings, said ramblings will reflect positively on me. To misquote the judge at the Lady Chatterley trial: " Is this something you would want your husband/children/friends/fellow tertiaries/church members to read?"

I agree about the overwhelmingness of it all and an introvert's need to maintain their own personal space. Paradoxical, isn't it? Social media and the internet is such a boon for  those of us who need time to reflect before we 'speak,' who draw strength from our own inner world and who find overmuch interaction with others draining. We can gather our thoughts rather than be 'put on the spot,' reflect on what we really want to say. And oh the wonder of being able to explore new horizons, ideas, people that we'd simply never have the chance to encounter otherwise.  Yet 'online,' as 'offline,' I know I can quite easily go into overload and have to pull out.

Funnily enough, my shyness and the behaviour patterns associated with that also show up on line. I'm definitely still in the cyber-kitchen at parties.

Any solutions? Well, being a Franciscan tertiary with an intentional way ('rule') of life, including a focus on simplicity,   helps. I have a mobile, not a smartphone and choose not to give out my number to all and sundry. Folk know that my landline is  the best way of contacting me.  So don't e-mail me to change arrangements once I've left home because I'll not get it. I kinda regret not tweeting; I do feel out of the loop sometimes, especially at places like Greenbelt, but heigh-ho, you can't have it all.

And lastly...(phew!) and I'm preaching to myself here - intentionality in how you  contribute online is part of the simplicity rather than drift. Plan that blog post; on Facebook  - let's visit that new spirituality group today, make yourself comment, (just one will do); leave those endless news updates for now, they'll still be there tomorrow....and the next day. Oh, and is there anything you've learned online today that you could take offline or vice versa, an idea for a new project, something with which to encourage others? Why not drop them an e-mail, a letter,  a phone call, even (gasp!) ask them out for a drink or a cuppa?

What do readers think?

Now I just know I'm going to regret clicking 'publish' here... :)